Monday, September 2, 2013
In the past five or six weeks I was dragging. It was hard to stay focused, hard to love others, and hard to do all my duties with attention and comfort. I felt sleepy during the day and everything took more energy. I was thinking, "I'm just in desolation," or "I don't really have what it takes to love others," and "maybe I can't be a physician...I just don't have it in me...." Finally, when two wise people (my biological and spiritual mothers) independently told me to go a doctor, I did. I was in sleep debt and had a microcytic (probably iron-deficient) anemia and had lost eight pounds. I really dropped the ball on taking care of myself!
Have you read Jen Fulwiler's post about struggling against circumstances? She says everything I want to say about this, and much more (about motherhood, etc).
I'm doing much better now, partially due to the relief that some of my sluggishness was physical (nobody's forgotten that a bunch of it is still spiritual...I still have a hard time loving people even when I'm brimming with energy and consolation). And now I'm getting more sleep and food and iron. Thanks be to God for bodily helps to holiness!